DISCLAIMER:None of the characters are mine,and no copyright 
infringement is intended.This non-lemon is not to be confused with 
Robert Vincent's lemon fic "Ukyou Gets What She Deserves,"which happens 
to be the best lemon fic of Y2K.:)Enjoy!

"Tsubasa Gets What He Deserves"(A Ranma 1/2 fanfic),by Mike Rhea

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It is ten in the morning in the Yamanouchi neighborhood in Kyoto.A 
trash can is standing in the middle of an alley.Under normal 
circumstances,it would be odd for even a trash can to be obstructing 
even an alleyway(it would normally be off to the side);but even odder,
it was no ordinary trash can.It was a human being hiding inside(and 
posing as)a trash can.Not just a regular person,but a drag queen who 
makes a living posing as inanimate objects.His name was Tsubasa 
Kurenai.

Since junior high,he had been stalking an okonomiyaki chef who regularly 
dressed like a boy.Her name was Ukyou Kuonji.She had been engaged to a 
childhood friend named Ranma Saotome since age 6.But Tsubasa wouldn't 
take no for an answer.When Ukyou moved to Nerima to be with Ranma,
Tsubasa continued to send her love letters.He eventually caught up to 
her in Nerima,but he still failed to win her heart;and just a month 
ago,Tsubasa's interrupting of Ranma's and Ukyou's wedding failed to 
change any opinions.

Though it's already been a month since that dark day and though he was 
down for the count,Tsubasa was not out.With ever setback,the cross-
dressing stalker was too persistent to give up(Konatsu,OTOH,woke up 
and eventually became Azusa's new skating partner).He continued down 
the alleyway.He was just a block away from the new location of Ucchan's 
okonomiyaki.The shop wasn't open yet,but the 2 owners inside were 
ready to do so.Tsubasa knew that they would probably be opening 
up at around this time,since the place wasn't open for breakfast.Then,
as the young Saotome couple emerged to put out the sign and the shop 
curtain(and while still in the trash can),he then charged at Ranma,
yelling "RANMA SAOTOME,PREPARE TO DIE!"

Then suddenly,as Tsubasa charged at Ranma,a tomcat walked straight 
into Tsubasa's path."Shoo!,"he nervously told the cat;but not only did 
the tomcat ignored him,he lifted his tail and started spraying urine on 
Tsubasa's leg.His face turned pale very quickly as the tomcat continued 
and as both Ranma and Ukyou stared at what was unfolding(and as big 
evil grins were beginning to show up on their faces).Eventually,the 
tomcat was done marking its territory and slowly walked away.Almost 
immediately,Tsubasa realized that Ranma and Ukyou watched the whole 
moment unfold right in front of them.

"Hey,Tsu-chan!,"taunted Ukyou as she started laughing."Looks like 
someone actually likes you!"

Tsubasa's eyes suddenly turned red."TRAITOR!,"yelled Tsubasa as he ran 
down the street sobbing.

"Now that he had coming...,"laughed Ranma."...right,Ucchan?"

"Exactly,Ran-chan!,"laughed Ukyou as she and Ranma put out the shop 
curtain and sign and opened the restaurant,laughing if there was no 
tomorrow.

THE END

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AUTHOR'S NOTES:Well,this fic developed out of weird thoughts that 
developed in my head yesterday;and this fic was an exorcism of those 
thoughts.Besides,Tsubasa deserved it.;p

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