DISCLAIMER:None of these characters are mine,and no illegal profit is
intended.This fic is loosely based on Brian-kun's "Happousai and Cologne
write a fanfic" and other clones of it.Though this fic is rated PG-13 for
a mild love scene and some innuendo at the end,this is NOT a lemon;but
this fic IS post volume 38.
Ranma and Ukyou Write a Fanfic(A Ranma 1/2 fanfic),by Mike Rhea
Ranma entered Ucchan's Okonomiyaki with a bandage on his head,the result
of being malleted in to the sky courtesy of Akane Airlines after taunting
P-chan in front of the "uncute fiancee."As he walked into the restaurant,
he grumbled to himself "I thought he only loved Akari!"
Ukyou then saw him and asked "Another fight with Akane,Ran-chan?"
Ranma replied "Ryouga is just like Kunou!He can't choose between 2 
girls!"
"Well,Tsubasa showed up again;and since business has been slow,I set him
and Konatsu up so I would be rid of them both for at least a while.Ever
written a fanfic before,Ran-chan?"
"Nope.Have you,Ucchan?"
"Ditto here.Let's try it!"
"Good idea!"replied Ranma as he and Ukyou(along with a couple of heart-
shaped okonomiyakis) headed for the computer and began writing the 
fanfic.
*************************************************************************
Ryouga and Akane were walking along a beach when Akane asked Ryouga
"Ryouga-kun,isn't this Kamakura?"
Ryouga replied "That's strange,Akane.I swore we were just a block away 
from the Tendou Doujou."
Suddenly,out of no where,a tanned lady in a space-suit with light-yellow
hair emerged:"Ohayoo!I'm Mihoshi of the Galaxy Patrol.I crashed my 
spaceship about a kilometer from here,but I forgot where exactly.Can you
please help me find it?"
Akane replied "Ryouga and I can help you find it!"
"Thanks in advance!" replied Mihoshi as she accompanied Akane and Ryouga
to search for her crashed spaceship.
The next day...
"Ryouga,this isn't Lake Biwa,isn't it?" inquired a concerned Akane?
"Damn,I knew I shoul've turned right at Mount Fuji!" replied Ryouga.
Mihoshi then added "Hey,guys,look at this weird duck!"
Ryouga and Akane turned around and noticed the odd duck,who replied
"Psyduck."
Akane asked the duck "What's your name?"
The duck replied "Psyduck."
"Are you lost?"
"Psyduck."
"Where are your parents?"
"Psyduck."
Ryouga replied "I think he's an orphan."
"You may be right,Ryouga!"returned Akane."Let's adopt him!"
"Why not?" added Mihoshi.
Akane picked up Psyduck and carried him as they along with Ryouga and
Mihoshi left the Lake Biwa area,heading west.
Two days later...
"Is it just me,or are these signs in some space language?" inquired
Mihoshi.
"Psyduck." said Psyduck.
"Ryouga-kun,I don't think we're in Japan anymore" said Akane.
"That's strange.These signs are obviously in kanji." replied Ryouga.
"But Ryouga,these may be Chinese signs.Because many of these signs are
inscribed in a second language that obviously isn't English.Because no
one here appears to speak Japanese.Besides,the architecture seems a bit
Mediterranean to me.Wait a minute,Ryouga.That couple 
headed for what appears to be a floating casino may be Japanese tourists.
Why don't we go ask them?"
Ryouga caught up with the 2 Japanese tourists(one who was a lady wearing
a "piyo-piyo" sweater and the other a young man/college graduate in his 
20's) and asked them "Where is Nerima?"
The guy replied "A long way from here."
"Where are we?"
The lady replied "We're in Macau.It's a tourist resort just southwest of
Hong Kong.Currently Portugal's lone remaining overseas posession,it will
be handed over to China in 6 months.It'll take a while before you get 
back to Tokyo,but would you like to go gambling with me and Godai?"
"Thanks,whoever you are,but my friends and I aren't old enough.Besides,
we don't have that much yen,anyway."
"Oh,well.BTW the name's Kyooko Otonashi."
"Ryouga Hibiki,and these are my friends,Akane Tendou,Mihoshi,and
Psyduck."
"Nice to meet you all.Good luck trying to get back to Japan." said Kyooko
as she and Godai headed for the floating casino.
Akane,Ryouga,Mihoshi,and Psyduck then walked away from the floating 
casino and began heading back in Japan,only to be still stuck in Macau 
just 3 days later.
THE END(of Ranma's and Ukyou's fanfic)
*************************************************************************
When they finished writing their fanfic,it was about 10 minutes until 
closing time.Then,Nabiki entered the restaurant just fresh from the one-
hour photo shop.Ranma and Ukyou initially feared the worst,but when 
Nabiki pulled out the first set of photos,Ukyou ended up rather pleased:
There were 10 8x10 pics of Tsubasa and Konatsu:arms linked and lips 
linked.Ukyou's efforts to rid herself of her 2 cross-dressing stalkers
had paid off.
"Ranma,"said Nabiki."This next set of pictures will confirm your 
suspicions about Akane's true knowledge of Ryouga's little secret."Nabiki
then took out the second set of scandalous photos.Right before him,Ranma
saw it all:15 8x10 pics of Ryouga,Akane,and Akari together in the
bathtub,all 3 of them completely naked and all 3 of them making 
passionate love to each other."Akane didn't even react negatively when
she dipped P-chan into the hot tub and witnessed his transformation into
Ryouga."
"How did Pops react when he saw this,if at all?"inquired Ranma
"Not only did both your dad and my dad accidentally walked in on them and
witness this orgy,they are also in shock and denial over your fiancee's
infidelity."
"Make that EX-fiancee!"
"These 25 pics are all yours for 40,000 yen."
A smug Ukyou then pulled out 50,000 yen and handed it to Nabiki."SOLD!"
"Just for that extra yen,"said Nabiki."I have a added bonus.Ranma,close 
your eyes"
Ranma complied,and Nabiki pulled out a small bottle of water labeled
"Nannichuan,"opened it,and poured its contents on Ranma.This time,Ranma
didn't feel any bodily transformation during or after the time the water
was poured onto him.Nabiki then removed the blindfold from Ranma,and 
then handed Ranma a mirror to look at himself.He looked at the mirror and
the empty bottle,and realized that for the first time since that fateful
day in Jusenkyou,he was once again 100% male.
"Since I stashed away a bottle for emergencies,Happousai didn't drink it
all after all."said Nabiki.
"Thank you,Nabiki."said Ranma and Ukyou.
"You're both welcome."said Nabiki."Gotta head back home now.Thanks for
your business."she said as she smugly left Ucchan's and headed home.
"Ranchan,go ahead and close up the shop.I'll join you later"said Ukyou as
she headed for her room.
Ranma complied,and almost as soon as he closed up the restaurant,Ukyou
reemerged,sans tights.
***** Music:"I'm Just a Love Machine," by the Miracle *****
"Ran-chan,let's go take a bath."
Ukyou untied the sash on her okonomiyaki seller's shirt,and within 4 
seconds(except for her bandolier and giant spatula),was completely naked.
"I'll scrub your back if you scrub mine,Ranma honey."
Feeling a sudden twitch in his pants,Ranma quickly undressed and replied
"Anything for you,Ucchan my darling." and accompanied his equally nude
virgin fiancee to the bathroom.
THE END
Well,this has turned out to be my longest fic to date.For those of you
scared by the Tsubasa/Konatsu matchup and the Ryouga/Akane/Akari
threesome,here are my opinions: 
1.Tsubasa and Konatsu are not only both gay,they also deserve only each 
other.If you haven't read my first fanfic,"Tsubasa plus Konatsu,"why 
not?
2.Konatsu doesn't deserve Ukyou.Not only is Ryouga more deserving of the
spatula girl than Tsubasa and Konatsu combined(though not as deserving of
her as Ranma is);Ryouga and Ukyou would be perfect together is I was 
pairing Ranma with Shampoo,Nabiki,Kasumi,or Kodachi;all of whom(in IMHO) 
are better bride choices for Ranma than Akane.
3.Ryouga deserves both Akari and Akane.It's the only way any of those
3 will live happily ever after.
BTW,I got the idea for the end-of-fic love scene between Ranma and Ukyou
from the love scene between 007 and Melina near the end of "For Your 
Eyes Only."Though I mainly watch Ranma 1/2,I have occasionally watched
other anime series,such as Pokemon(in which I got Psyduck from),Maison
Ikkoku(in which Yusaku Godai and Kyooko Otonashi are from),and Tenchi
Muyou(in which Mihoshi is from).If you want to flame me in connection
with this fic,I wouldn't advise it.Besides,if you've read this far,why
are you complaining?

This is variation of Brian-kun's "Happousai and Cologne write a fanfic," which can be found at http://www.geocities.com/Tokyo/Shrine/6648/Happosaiandcologne.txt. As with any fanfic I write,comments concerning this spamfic(no flames, please)can be sent to yours truly.

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